"You know this is the way it is. You were born, and so are subject to change, disease, and ultimately death. It happens differently for each person. This is one of the ways it's happening to you." - Toni Bernhard
"Our life is always all right. There's nothing wrong with it. Even if we have horrendous problems, it's just our life." - Charlotte Joko Beck
Day 20 – Tuesday, Nov. 20 “A health moment I regret…” OR Write about alternative treatments / regimens / medicine. What do you support? What is crazy?
I'm 2/3 of the way through the month, and now I'm feeling pretty worn down. Not just from trying to keep a daily writing schedule, but also because of my fibromyalgia diagnosis a week ago followed by the inevitable post-doctor-visit flare.
When I think of health regrets, I mostly think of little things. Like last week at the doctor appointment, the doctor asked if I'd like to stay in my wheelchair or move to a regular chair. I should have said "Actually, can I lie down on the examining table while we talk? It will help me a lot to be horizontal." Had I done that, I wouldn't have been so shattered at the end of the visit, and my tailbone wouldn't hurt so much right now from prolonged sitting a week ago. Then there are the times when I'm just starting to feel better after a flare and instead of hoarding those spoons for recovery, I spend them right away on some activity that keeps me right there on the edge. But all of these are small, day to day regrets. I don't really have any that stay with me long.
Sure, I could have tried harder to find a more knowledgeable doctor when I was first diagnosed, but where would I have found the energy for that? Or I could have figured out sooner that my fatigue wasn't caused by depression, but was something else. But how would I have known that? Depression was familiar to me, and M.E. wasn't.
Mostly I think life is too short to spend time regretting the past. I mean, what's the point? I have better things to do with my spoons.